NFP Awareness

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In the homily at my own wedding, the priest shared an interesting statistic.  Of those couples who (1) pray together every day, (2) go to Church every Sunday, and (3) are open to life (i.e. don’t use contraceptives), 1 in 1200 will end up divorced.  That’s a 0.00083% divorce rate.  He referred to those 3 things as “marriage insurance.”  What’s significant about those 3 things: prayer, church attendance, and openness to life?  They are the vows the couple makes before God on their wedding day.  When I work with engaged couples I point out that we can count on God to keep His end of the bargain. If the couple is faithful to their end, nothing can break them apart.   NFP is 98-99% effective.  It is completely natural and simple to use. In fact, Bl. Mother Teresa and her sisters would teach it to the women of Calcutta, India. 

NFP is not just used to avoid pregnancy (when a serious reason exists), but can be very effectively used to achieve it as well. In fact, my wife and I knew of our pregnancy and the actual due date of our firstborn before the doctor did! We had charted and so knew we had conceived.  Using the information, we were able to compute our son’s due date.  When we later had our doctor visit and he confirmed the pregnancy, he also gave us the same date.  Another gentleman shares an account of knowing his wife was pregnant before even she did via NFP! 

Want more information?  The Couple to Couple League is among the best resources out there.  There website is:  www.ccli.org.  That was the group that trained my wife and me.  Another resource is from the University of Creighton www.creightonmodel.com Or send me an email and I can connect you with our newly trained parishioners!

                God bless you!

                Phil Lawson, MTS

Father's Day

Father’s Day Several years ago, my wife and I gave a presentation on marriage to a group of high school juniors. Just prior to discussing the best part of marriage, my then 2-year old, who was happily crawling around the classroom floor, happily shouted “Dadddeeee!” The whole class burst out laughing. I told the students, that’s the best part of marriage—children. I pray that I never lose the heart-moving sense of awe, amazement, and responsibility that that simple word “Daddy” inspires. One of the best books on fatherhood I’ve ever read is “Legacy: A Father’s Handbook for Raising Godly Children” by Stephen Wood. My wife had given it to me for Father’s Day prior to our first child’s birth. You can tell how much I enjoyed it by the many markings and curled pages throughout! As the book states, “The most important job a man has is fathering his children, but raising godly children in today’s world isn’t an easy task.” Wood offers tips, suggestions, statistics and anecdotes for raising godly children. He states, “The relationships built through shared work, adventure, and sports are like a bridge that the Faith can cross over to the hearts of your children. The stronger the bridge, the stronger the Faith conveyed.” In helping prepare couples for Baptism, it’s one of the books I always recommend or even give as a gift. Wood shares many stories to illustrate his points. One of my favorite humorous anecdotes from Legacy is the following: “Fathers are often blind to the universal inclination of children to imitate them. Our children are always watching our actions, even when we are not aware of it. When my youngest son was two years old, my wife Karen found pennies in his dirty diapers. My son had observed that I put money in my wallet and then stuck it in my back pocket. Since he had no wallet or pocket, he just stuck loose change he found around the house down the back of his diaper.” Steve Wood, Legacy A second book is by Dr. Meg Meeker, “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know”. Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, with more than 20 years counseling girls. In both her practice and substantial research she makes the point that the determinative factor in how a young lady turns out is dependent on her relationship to her father. (This one I got when we had our daughter). I grew up with only brothers, so I figured I could use all the help I could get when It came to raising a daughter! While not a specifically Catholic book, it has gotten very positive reviews from the Catholic media and Catholic commentators. On this Father’s day, I would be remiss if I didn’t make note of the many spiritual fathers out there. As a priest friend, Fr. Joe Hirsch, likes to say, “every man is called to be a father and every woman to be a mother”. This fatherhood does not have to be physical. How many men there are who fill gaps in young people’s lives, even though they aren’t the physical father? There are many male coaches, men who volunteer with groups like “Big Brothers/Big Sisters”, men who teach or mentor and in various ways play a fatherly role. May God bless you for your generosity! For those of you “older” fathers thank you for the sacrifices you’ve made (and continue to make). Your example is one the next generation of Fathers looks at in order to follow. And please say a prayer for us younger dad’s! From the Book of Blessings: “God our Father…bless these men, that they may be strengthened as Christian fathers. Let the example of their faith and love shine forth. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.” Phil Lawson

Married on a Crucifix

I had come across this story some time ago and it seemed like a fitting reflection with Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day both this week. Married on a Crucifix Imagine a world without divorce. Imagine families without separation. Imagine no children or hearts torn apart. by Michael Mullan, LC | Source: Catholic.net

"Imagine a world without divorce. Imagine families without separation. Imagine no children or hearts torn apart. People of one place in this world do not have to imagine. In the town of Siroki-Brijeg in Herzegovina not one of the 13,000 inhabitants can recall a single divorce or broken family. What is their secret? One look at their marriage rite says it all. When the bride and bridegroom go to the church to be married they carry a crucifix with them. The priest blesses the crucifix and exclaims, “You have found your cross! It is a cross to love, to carry with you, a cross that is not thrown off but rather treasured.” When they interchange the marital vows, the bride puts her right hand on this crucifix and the groom puts his right hand over hers. Both are united to the cross. The priest covers their hands with his stole while they pronounce their promises to love each other in good times and in bad. Then they both first kiss the cross, not each other. If one abandons the other, they abandon Christ on the cross. Afterwards, the newly-weds cross the threshold of their home to enthrone that same crucifix in a place of honor. It becomes the reference point of their lives and the place of family prayer. In times of difficulty and misunderstandings, as all human relationships experience, they do not turn immediately to the lawyer or psychologist, they turn to the cross. They kneel, cry and open up their hearts begging for the strength to pardon and implore the Lord’s help. The children are taught to reverently kiss the crucifix daily and to thank him for the day before going to bed. These children dream of enthroning one day a crucifix of their own. The family is indissolubly united to the cross of Christ. Is this simply a morbid outlook on marital and family life? Or is it a piece of wisdom that few in our modern world can understand. Until our world does, it will continue to imagine and long for the unbroken hearth." -Information taken from Marian Observer Feb. 2002. God bless you! Phil Lawson, MTS Pastoral Associate